To be followed by more well developed dread.This dreadentry is in some semblance of chronology.
the song and place of dread
mother, leave me a message about sundacita (sun-dah-chih-tah) on my phone
father, pick your finger for 30 seconds
I don't know where it comes from but it always wakes me up. Sometimes adria calls me on the same nights and the dread seems less personal. I'm not being a drama queen but my father was picking his thumb that night also, he always is and eating his skin and maybe it's the new baby but mine was probably then just the project I have to do. they are like small balls when you're homesick. and on bad weeks they grow in slimy layers, getting thicker, in need of palm-rolling like elementary school clay.
an exhibition of bad decisions.
you can make a sky out of a ceiling, that's no problem.
dread mascots?
a stomach: not soft, not wet
a tooth: naturally colored or gold
the inside of a stomach: many possibilities who knows what goes on in there
a sharp angle: metallic or crackling or cracking
concrete dread
a raw, chewed finger: father
an old boarding pass: many
a sagging mattress: forced together
a window screen: from behind
anything chipping off of a surface: lame
a pile: on the floor
other peoples' actualized dread and dread remedies as decided by me:
bess' dread face - her snacking
rachel's 2nd stage of sleep (heavy, irregular breathing) - excessive snoozing
adria's everyday (always something) - late nights
kate's hands twisting above her stomach - unclear
my father's thumb biting - continuation of thumb biting down to knuckle
angel's pre-sleep - being walked upstairs
lingji's bottom lip - a specific hug
peter's wall punching - nutritional yeast and a rooftop garden
laura's severe phone angle while texting - geeging (in every sense)
alanna's fingers on the inside of an elbow - shared: a couch and a vanilla coke
olivia's twitchy fingers - her white ring
miscellaneous dread
the dread of getting two moments confused
the dread of forgetting what I have just said
the dread of the swings/swing preparation
the dread of piles of leaves in warm places
the dread of knowing your schedule
the dread of confusing the last 4 digits of my social security number with those of your phone number
the dread of talking
the dread of hidden files
the dread of not knowing who I wrote this poem about
the dread of disappointment
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